He's done, and he's sorry
by sruoh
Summary: In which Matthew snaps, and he goes off at Alfred, and Alfred is sort of, really sorry and he just wants to make things okay again. This leads to a a shared kiss on the parking lot pavement, and a very badly timed confession.


**Hello! I hope you enjoy this, I don't really have much to say, but please enjoy!**

**Warnings: Language from a cranky Canadian**

**Hetalia doesn't belong to me.**

* * *

Matthew was at the end of his line that day, a ticking time bomb ready to explode on anyone, anywhere, regardless if they were friend or foe, for he was sick, and he was tired, and some days, he wonders, and wonders, why he tries to be nice, and tries to be polite, when all he has ever got were rude words back, and being ignored. He has learned, all his life, ever since he was part of France, and even when he moved to be with Arthur, he was taught to be a proper young boy, and that was even more enforced by Arthur, who even though had a sharp tongue and stinging words, wanted the best for Matthew, who was the opposite of his ignorant, rude, loud brother.

(You see, Matthew loved him, he really did, but all he does is cause trouble)

So, all this time, he has been building up hidden emotion, sad thoughts, boiling anger, hiding it, cause really, he hates sharing these emotions, cause who was there to see it? No one, cause for some messed up reason, no one can see him but those few, rare ones. Really, it irks him, and sometimes, he just wants to give up and just stay in bed, not even bothering to go to the meetings. He has to though, his boss expects him too, even though he rarely gets a say, and just, why does this happen to him?

He has always been in the shadow, though he has always been there, with Arthur, who he fought with, and stayed loyal too, while Alfred burned down his capital, and he burned his. When Arthur found him sobbing into the ground, crying on how it hurt, oh god how it hurt, Arthur muttered under his breath, addressing Matthew, wiping away his tears, and cradling him to his chest, because he was always his little boy.

(Matthew still has faint scars, and Alfred has yet to apologize, though every time he sees his bare chest, he cringes a bit and looks away, staring at his own chest, which has its own marks. Maybe that's why he hasn't bothered, he was hurt to in that war)

He was also there in both WW1 and WW11, fighting along with the other nations, all grit and hard core but he didn't stay back, he fought with all his might, for his people, his land, and for himself, because god damn it, he could fight too.

So when that was done, over with, and everything was okay again, Matthew was slowly going insane, because everyone doesn't realize that he hurts too, and that he wants to be loved, and that, hey, you shouldn't forget me, I'm fucking Canada, the second largest god damned country in the world, but, he wasn't all that remarkable, and he knew that, so he kept quiet, keeping those thoughts away, and gaining comfort from a bear who often forgets his name.

(Who?)

So now, it comes back to that certain day, where it was just terrible, it was cold, he forgot to go shopping, and now he has no food, or coffee, and he just lazily rolls out of bed, and thumps on the floor, not even bothering to untangle himself from the sheets, and he sits there for a moment, before getting a call from his brother, who was just loud, and how the fuck can he be this vibrant in the morning? He feels an urge to punch him in the face through the phone, but he stops himself, and breaths in deep, before answering him in a tired voice.

"Yeah Alfred?" His eyes are half mast, and his bear nudges his hand, wanting to be fed. He scoops Kumajiro up and into his arms, and he stands up, the blankets falling and being left discarded on the ground, he shivered and went to the washroom, listening intently to Alfred to answer him, who didn't yet, and was mindlessly chatting with somebody, before hanging up. Matthew scowled at his phone, and placed it on the counter, before getting ready, doing his normal hygiene routine, and he scooped Kumajiro back up, before going back to change, and finally getting ready to eat, before realizing he had no food for himself. His stomach growled, and he frowned before giving some food to his beloved friend, and heading out of the house, telling Kumajiro the house rules once more. Still tired, groggy, and slightly pissed off, he started his car, before driving to the meeting, which took a long while, considering the amount of traffic.

(Who knew his people were such dick heads, geez, learn how to signal you bag of shit, and you did not just cut me off, today is not the day to mess with Matthew Fucking Williams.)

He pulled up to the huge building, sort of glad the meeting was at his place, and not at the others, so maybe they would realize that they shouldn't start without him, they are in his territory for gods sakes. So when he enters the building, he isn't surprised (well slightly) that they started without him, so he enters the room, and no one pays heed, but Alfred, that asshole, and whispers to him while Ludwig is screaming at everyone.

"Why are you late? Didn't I call you?"

Matthew sighs and breaths in nice and deep, eyes closing, and he gives a steady glare his way, and murmurs to him.

"Yes, but you hung up on me, so I thought I was still good, why did you guys start without-" before Matthew could finish, Alfred had already lost interest, and nudged Arthur, who was sipping calmly at his tea, until it sloshed over, some spilling out and over. Matthew sighed, and turned over to smile at Francis, who gave him a quick smile, before turning back his attention back to the front. Matthew sighed, and wished he would have brought Kumajiro with him, but that doesn't matter, so he stays silent, until everyone has had a turn talking, and it dragged on and on. Matthew nearly lost it when Alfred took up most of the time, mouth running on how awesome his ideas were, which were stupid and useless, and he felt someone throw something at him, which was Alfred, who was being an immature douchebag, and he clenches his fists, his emotions slowly building it.

Ludwig goes back up, addressing all the nations, and he declares in a booming voice, blue eyes leveled.

"This meeting is finished for the day, everyone may leave, and the next one will be held next week." He shuffled his papers, and was about to walk off, when he heard a slight cough. Everyone turned their attention to the noise, which in its place stood Matthew Williams, the one no one bothered to remember, but this time his eyes were heated, he was frowning, and his hands were shaking extra hard, biting the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood. His voice was low, and it was even.

"What about me…" Everyone gaped at him, the venom in his words, and obviously, Alfred, being his ignorant self, perked up and clapped a hand on his neighbour's shoulder, not realizing that he was tense. Matthew growled and twirled around, pushing Alfred off of him, and made his hands fall to his sides.

"Don't touch me…"

Alfred only laughed, ignoring the looks the other nations gave him, thinking that this was a joke, and that he could make his usually laid back friend (not realizing the inner turmoil in him) relax a bit. He beamed and grabbed his shoulders once more, opening his mouth to declare something to the angry Canadian.

"Ha, ha, very funny bro, whatcha going to say? That we should make Hockey the national sport of-"Matthew snapped, he felt the tightening string of what was his sanity, the thing holding him together, break, and a flood of emotions fall over, his eyes watered, and his lips quivered, and anger tumbled out in a sob, the grabbed Alfred's arm and threw him on the table, clutching onto his collar, as the surprised American looked up with wide eyes as Matthew slammed him again and again, all the nations too shocked to stop him, as he sobbed out his frustrations, his tears falling over and soaking Alfred's beloved bomber jacket.

"All my life, I've been left in the dust, all my life, I've been ignored, looked over, I've been feeling so much pain, and it hurts, it just hurts! No one cares, no one." Matthew growled and pulled him up once more, until they were staring face to face, close enough that their noses touched, Alfred shocked, and wide eyed, as Matthew began to cry softly, head bending down to rest on his shoulder.

"You were the worst offender…" Matthew uncurled his fingers, and he felt anger bubble up again, and he stepped back, holding his head up high, and wiping his face free from tears. "Fuck all of you, I'm done for today."

Then he leaves, the door leading to the meeting getting slammed shut, and the distant sounds of broken screaming and sobbing. Alfred slowly sat down and stared at everyone, heart racing. The only thing he muttered was a quiet,

"Well fuck."

* * *

When Matthew finally reached his car, the cold, foul weather of this morning, turned into even fouler rain, and he just felt so angry, so he kicked his car hard at the tires, over and over until he was soaking wet, and he was sore at his foot, and he unlocked his car door and climbed in, taking off his wet jacket, and resting his head on the wheel, thinking on what the fuck did he just pull, and he just begins to sob, even though he has done enough of that today, and smacks the horn multiple times, yelling out in frustration every time.

He looks up, blindly, and he wonders where his glasses went, and he just smacks his head against the wheel and glowers.

"I fucking left it in the fucking meeting room where they are fucking at."

He was surprised at his own dirty mouth, but he just continued on with his swearing rampage, not aware of the American approaching his car, looking rather wet himself, and also sad, carrying a pair of broken glasses that seemed shattered at one end. He knocked at the window, gaining the attention of the broken boy, and Matthew just ignored him, choosing to just lean his head back on the steering wheel.

"Matthew?"

Alfred knocked on the window again, still not getting a good response, and no way in hell was he just going to sit here and wait for his neighbour to let him in, because he came out here to apologize for himself, and for the other nations, and he isn't the one to let people down!

(Though he did let down his brother, and he feels like a complete ass, but this is why he was here)

So he keeps on pounding on the darn window until Matthew bolts up, opens the door, and tackles Alfred to the ground, breathing heavy, and face wet, and not from the rain itself, to be honest. Alfred is once again shocked by Matthew's aggression, and Matthew just sits there staring, with wide violet eyes, and then, then…

He just leans his head down and cries, and Alfred finds it that his heart hurts every time he witnesses such a sight, so he lays down Matthew on his chest, and rubs his back, whispering words that come from his heart, and he just wanted to make him feel great again, so he kisses his forehead and murmurs in his ear, and he is oh so sincere, that it makes Matthew cry even harder.

"I'm sorry…"

So he repeats that, a simple sorry, and he says that again and again, until Matthew believes it. They were soaked, cold and wet, but neither of them cared, and Alfred placed Matthew next him, and turned to face him, and even though outside in the parking lot isn't the perfect place to declare this, but it was the heat of the moment, or Alfred was just being stupid again.

"I love you."

And he continues on, not letting Matthew speak.

"I'm sorry I was being an idiot, thinking myself higher than you, I'm sorry for hurting you all those years, I'm sorry for burning down your capital, I'm sorry for taking you for granted, and I just wanted to let you know that I have always, always cared for you, I was just too wrapped up in my own life to show it, and I just, I'm so sorry, and I know some days you can't take it anymore, but I love you and that's all that matter s and-"

Matthew stopped him with a kiss, a small one, his first kiss, as a matter of fact, and he blushes, his hair sticking to his face as the rain comes down harder, and he leans in for a kiss again, his hands cupping his face, and Alfred finds that this is perfect, him and Matthew, lying on a dirty parking lot, with the rain soaking them to the bone, and Alfred pulls away, grabbing Matthew and pulling him back onto his chest.

* * *

They stay there a moment longer, before heading back into the meeting room, declaring that Alfred is bringing Matthew home. (Both ignoring everyone's questions) and Matthew said that he'll get his car later.

The whole drive there was silent itself, but it was a nice silence, and when they finally reached Matthew's house without an incident, Alfred walked Matthew up, and Matthew unlocked his door, and stepped into his house, closing the door behind him. Alfred frowns and turns away, thinking that, Matthew only kissed him back to be nice, and that Matthew didn't really love him, and so he turned his back, but he heard Matthew talk through the door, almost hearing the smile in his voice.

"I love you too."

Let's just say, Alfred banged on the door until Matthew sighed and let him in.

And after that, well…

You know.

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**Aaaaah, I'm so very sorry for this terrible ending, but I just needed to end this off.**

**Thank your for reading, and please excuse any mistakes!**


End file.
